Reading & viewing Othello gave me a lot of reflection time on jealousy and trust. It's interesting that what someone says can so profoundly influence what we think, feel, and ultimately may do. What causes us to doubt someone we love? Without good cause (actually witnessing an act that is wrong) what causes us to distrust, or become jealous of another? I thought about this quite a bit over the last week, and the conclusion I came to is this: It's not about the person we love. The trouble with jealousy and lack of trust comes from within. It's about being unsure of yourself, feeling unworthy of feelings being reflected back by the one you love. The problems that arise from this lack of self-confidence can vary from paranoia all the way to murder (of course on the most extreme end of things). But the one thing that remains from the smallest problem all the way through to tragedy is the destroying of the relationship. More often than not, we unknowingly sabotage our relationships by bringing about the very thing we are afraid is happening. Like someone once told me "project what you want to happen". By being jealous, paranoid, and untrusting we automatically create an environment that is unpleasant and more likely than not will drive the person from our lives and possibly into the arms of someone who isn't so neurotic!
So, it has been said that before you can love someone else you must first love yourself. I didn't really understand why that was, but I do now. I have to know that I am worthy to receive love before I can truly give it, recognize it and enjoy it.
Thanks Shakespeare!
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